We are beyond thrilled to announce that Jacoby is going to be a big brother! Due date is April 12, so tomorrow is 14 weeks, and I'll be starting up the weekly bump updates. Let me just throw this out there--> baby bumps grow much quicker round 2! Foooo real.
If you're wondering how Coby is going to do as big brother:
I think he'll be great! (He was helping, he didn't make Theo cry...I promise! haha)
So here's the "story". It's (very) long + might be TMI for some, but if you're wondering why we waited until 14 weeks to share, then read on ;) haha.
I stopped nursing Jacoby around 7 1/2 months. It was partially because I felt like we were both done with it, but also because Nate & I both really want our kids to be close in age, and because it took us almost a year to get pregnant with Coby, we thought maybe we should get started on the process. Some people may see that as selfish for not nursing him for a year, but we saw it as non-selfish because giving him a sibling is a GREAT thing for him :)
My period started about 6 weeks after I was completely done nursing, and it was regular. I was happy that it came back, because since I've been irregular in the past, I wasn't sure what to expect with my hormones all out of whack. About a month after, when technically it was a good time to test for pregnancy, I took a test (on July 27, Nate's 30th birthday) and it was negative. We were both bummed but weren't surprised since it was month one of trying. About 3 weeks later on a Monday morning, I woke up and went to get Jacoby and change his diaper and I felt like I was going to throw up e v e r y w h e r e (clue #1). I didn't know what hit me and figured it was maybe the flu. I took Coby downstairs & gave him his bottle while I sat in front of the toilet waiting to throw up. I texted Nate and told him how awful I was feeling.
I told him if I felt like this all day, he might have to come home and take care of Jacoby because I didn't want to give him the flu. About 15 minutes later I was feeling better and ate some breakfast. Nate told me that maybe I should buy a pregnancy test while at the grocery store, just to make sure that's not a possibility. {Side note: I hadn't had a period since the first one, so I thought--there wasn't even a window for me to get pregnant, but I'll do it just to clear his mind}.
I got one while at Target and then in the afternoon while Coby was napping, I was about to nap also because I was exhausted (clue #2), but thought--I'll just take the test before I nap. Nate has always been big on me taking the test while he is home because he always wants to find out at the same time as me. I was so convinced I wasn't pregnant, since the math didn't add up in my head, that I decided to just take it without him home. The test turned pregnant in 1 second. I didn't even get a chance to put a cap on it after peeing on it :) haha.
I sent Nate a text with this picture and said
"hope you're ready to be a daddy again".
His response:
WHAT?? NO WAY!! AHHHH NOW I CAN'T THINK AT WORK!
Thankfully it was at like 4pm, so he didn't waste too much of his day :) We were both SO excited but also SO shocked! It's the best feeling.
So after going to the dr, we found out that I must have just ovulated late, which meant when I took the first pregnancy test (on July 27), that it was just a few days too early.
At our first appt, since we had no idea when we conceived, we got an ultrasound :) woohoo! We were thrilled because we only got ONE with Jacoby and it was at 20 weeks! Getting to see baby so early? Yes please!!!
The ultrasound tech took lots of pictures and when we met with the Dr after the ultrasound, there was a lot of concern. She mentioned that they saw fluid behind the baby's neck and that even though it's early, it was something that could possibly show complications. The dr (of course my least favorite doctor at the practice) let us know that we would be considered "high risk" and be sent to a specialist in South Bend for a better ultrasound and better diagnosis, but that the possibilities ranged from nothing, to heart defects, to genetic chromosomal disorders (such as down syndrome, trisomy 13, trisomy 21, Turner's Syndrome, etc). The Dr gave us a packet and asked us if we had any questions.
Um, yeah I have questions. A lot of questions. But questions that you can't answer or know.
We left the office and I, of course, bawled like a baby. It was mainly out of confusion and feeling overwhelmed with all of the possibilities that they just listed. I read the pamphlet and saw that with Turner's Syndrom, 99% of pregnancies are miscarriages, and that with some of the other "disorders" {I hate that word...I'll get to that later} babies may only survive DAYS after birth.
That's a lot to wrap your head around. I didn't know how to respond, I had so many questions in my head but couldn't get them out, and I knew that they didn't have answers to it anyway. So it was a waiting game.
Let me just say that having the most incredible husband made it such an easier waiting time. Nate is my rock and my hero. He is so good at being strong when I am not, and talking questions, concerns, etc with me. He always has such a great perspective, and always knows to take it to the Lord first. That man, so thankful he's by my side.
We went to the specialist and they confirmed that there was fluid (medical term is Cystic Hygroma), and in these pictures you could see it much clearer.
The Dr. basically reiterated what our OB had said, in that the main 2 concerns are either heart defects or chromosomal disorders. There is a blood test that is non-invasive, where they just take my blood + can look at the baby's DNA from there, since the blood is transferred through the placenta. So that's what we did. They told us this test is not 100% (because what test is, right?), but that it's a great screening test and it gives us a good idea of what we might be looking at and can narrow it down. The genetic counselor we saw let us know that they generally give you a percentage of possibility that the baby would have such-and-such disorder. She also said that it could come back negative, and that they rarely see false negatives because it's hard to miss an extra chromosome or missing chromosome, but that no test is perfect. I held back my tears as they talked about this too, just not knowing what was in store for this pregnancy, birth + baby.
We waited 2 weeks for the blood test results and went back to the specialist the same day that we got the blood results back. We found out that the blood test came back negative (Praise the Lord!!!). So we were able to basically take out the worry about chromosomal issues, and are now in the boat of either nothing and it will resolve on its own, or a heart defect--with no idea of what that means or the severity.
At our appointment wight specialist, we got another ultrasound (perks of having issues...you see baby LOTS!) and the fluid on the back of the neck had gone down! (Another praise!). Dr. Donald (our specialist) was very happy to see the fluid go down, and said from the beginning that he wanted to see us every 2 weeks to make sure the fluid doesn't get bigger. So to have it go down is EXACTLY what he/we wanted to see. He also explained that although it has gone down, that is what they would see with a heart defect too.
So here we are...
We know so far things have continued to be good news as we have gone forward. At week 22, they will do an echocardiogram on baby (baby's heart is too small before then), to see what they can find. We are praying that they find nothing, but are trusting God! The possibility of a heart defect is scary, but knowing how incredible our medical world is, and knowing that we have access to heart surgery if needed, helps me feel comforted.
Until week 22, we see our specialist every 2 weeks (and get an ultrasound to see baby!) and check on the fluid level. I feel good knowing that we are in our 2nd trimester, knowing we are getting the best care out there and that they are checking on baby often.
Oh...and if you're made it this far in the post, then I have a surprise for you.
The blood test also let us know with 100% certainty the sex of the baby. I couldn't wait and had them tell us at the appointment.
Jacoby is going to have...
a little brother! For those that know the Carpenter family, boys FAR outweigh the girls, so most are not surprised! Nate is thrilled. With baby #1, he didn't care if boy or girl, but since these two babies are going to be so close (18 months apart), he was thrilled that Jacoby will have a brother. They're gonna be best friends and I can't wait to watch them grow up together!
Dr. Donald said, well looks like you'll be having another boy-- so I'll be seeing you back here in a couple years for a girl??? haha. YES Dr. Donald! YES. However, I hope to NOT have to see a specialist next time ;)
xox,
Naomi
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